


Salazar's Mistake

by Rosie3745



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Christmas Fluff, Established Relationship, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:01:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28272057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosie3745/pseuds/Rosie3745
Summary: After overindulging during a holiday party, Severus Snape finds out he really is NOT like his father.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 17
Kudos: 121
Collections: Snarry Christmas 2020





	Salazar's Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I don't own anything, see JKR for money-related inquiries. I just like to take the boys out for a little fun.  
> Thanks: To the folks at Discord, for encouraging me to write (more & again) as well as share (first time in this fandom & under my name). Along w/fanfic, they have been my saving grace in this hellish 2020. Supreme thanks & virtual cookies to my lovely betas (in no particular order): LikeLightInGlass, JocSykes (jocundasykes) & bleedcolor, all fabulous writers. If you haven't read their works, please stop whatever you're doing (yes, even reading this little fic) & go dive in! Any errors remaining are all my own.

"No, no, no!" 

The cries were soft, but still enough to wake up Harry.

"Wh-what? Sev? Just a nightmare, love. I'm here. It's okay."

Harry reached out for his husband but found only a pillow, still warm. Totally awake now, he summoned his wand with a gesture and prepared for battle.

"Lumos!" 

Harry scrambled to get off the bed, but his eyes met a crumpled figure by his feet. Although nightmares occasionally plagued both of them even years after the war, this kind of reaction was not typical. Harry reached for Severus again and, to his eternal surprise, the man flinched away from him. 

"Sev?" he cried. "What's going on? Can I touch you, please? I won't hurt you. You know I won't."

That finally had an effect and Severus lifted his head. A small tear crawled down his cheek. It was more than Harry could bear. With a cry he dropped his wand and held his Severus close, whispering endearments and petting his head. 

"No, no, love. Please don't cry," he begged. "Everything's fine. It was just a nasty dream. You are home. You are safe. I am safe. I am here. We are together and together we have it all."

Severus mumbled something. He was stiff in Harry's arms, but at least wasn't trying to pull back from him anymore.

"What was that, love?"

"You won't hurt me," Severus repeated.

"Of course not. I wouldn't dream of hurting you. I d--"

"I hurt you."

"What? When? You have * **not** *!"

A shaking hand pointed at Harry's arm, his shoulder and his face. Bruises were blooming there. A slight cut on the side of his forehead was already closed, but a bit of dried blood remained.

"I hurt you," Severus insisted. "I got drunk and I hurt you."

Harry's jaw hung open and for a second he couldn't manage words. Finally, his outrage overtook his bewilderment.

"No, no, and a million times no! Severus Potter-Snape, look at me!" Holding the beloved face with both hands, he willed Severus to look into his eyes. "This is me, your Harry. The one you would die to protect. The one you * **have** * died to protect. You would never hurt me and you have not hurt me." When Severus' eyes drifted to his bruises again, Harry actually shook him. "No! You didn't! It was just Salazar and the tree, remember? Well, no. Evidently you don't remember. Okay, first things first."

Harry jumped off the bed and dashed off to Severus' night table and the potion vial waiting there.

"You can't be thinking right with your head pounding. No wonder you're spouting such nonsense. Here, drink this. No, no more talking until you're thinking straight and hopefully remembering last night. Drink."

Like a child scolded into taking his medicine, Severus drank. Harry's heart broke, but there were solutions coming up: potion first, then some coffee. Finally, removal of booze cobwebs from memory lane.

The potion took effect posthaste. It was one of Severus' own, after all. Not saying another word, Harry took his husband by the hand and tugged him to the kitchen. A wandless spell had the percolator going and soon after a cup of black coffee was warming up Severus' hands. After a few minutes to allow the caffeine to take effect, Harry managed to pry one of those hands from around the cup and cradled it in his own.

"Do you need more time?" Harry asked, not without tenderness. The black eyes, no longer avoiding the light and its stabbing effect, were mostly clear. "How much do you remember of last night?"

"Christmas party," Severus responded. His normally confident tone absent. "I drank too much. My apologies, Harry. I give you my word it won't happen again. Ever."

"Don't swear that just yet. It was fun. But let's go back to last night, please? What do you remember? Exactly?"

"I remember the Hogwarts party, as boring as usual. Then we went to the Burrow, as crowded as usual. Then we came home. I drank too much. I --"

"Yeah, yeah, we've established that already," Harry interrupted, brushing off more apologies. "Why do you think I had the hangover potion ready? Do you remember the tree? Our Christmas tree?"

"The tree?" Severus thought for a moment, then his eyebrows flew up. "Oh, yes. The tree fell, right?"

"Is that all you remember about it?" Harry insisted.

"Well, yes. What more is there?"

"You don't remember me falling * **on** * the tree? From the chair?"

"Wait. What? Is that how you ended on top of the tree? Why were you on top of a chair? Oh, wait, Salazar!"

"Exactly," said Harry with a triumphant smile. "Salazar."

The orange tabby, asleep on his favorite sunny spot by the kitchen window, deigned to twitch his ears in their direction.

"He climbed the tree again, didn't he?" Severus asked.

"Of course he did." Harry shrugged. "He's a cat. But this time when he climbed to the top branches he made a mistake, got tangled up and yowled for help. I climbed the chair to rescue him."

"Harry, Salazar was probably berating the tree for daring to ensnare him, not asking for the lowly help of us peasants. And are you a wizard or not? You could have just gotten him out with a spell."

"Yeah, I know. I was just afraid using Accio on the cat wouldn't be safe."

"And climbing a chair was?" Severus insisted.

Harry shrugged and all but pouted. "It would've been. I had Salazar by the scruff and was ready to come down when he..."

"Reacted like a cat and scrambled to run the other way?"

Hanging his head, Harry just responded with a meek, "Yeah."

"I seem to remember the fish got involved in the acrobatics too. How did that happen?"

Harry perked up. "You should have seen it from my side! It was spectacular! I catch Sal by the neck, he squirms and escapes me, dashing further up the tree. We shouldn't have gotten one so tall, let me tell you. Do make a note of that for next year. This cottage doesn't have ceilings as high as Hogwarts. Anyway, I reach for the damn cat again but the chair tilts, and we both fall on top of the tree. The tree topples, hitting the coffee table and launches Salazar straight into the fish tank."

Smiling already, Severus wondered. "My spell didn't hold, did it?"

"No! It did! Better than expected. The glass broke, of course. Salazar is too big and had too much speed, so he went right through the whole tank, yowling all the way. But the water held together and kept the fish alive, so splendid success with the new spell. I doubt if the fish even noticed the very brief furry intrusion dashing by."

"Salazar must have been annoyed."

"Annoyed is an understatement. Once I stopped laughing, I dried him up thoroughly, but he's been shooting daggers at me ever since. He certainly blames me. Probably for the loss of dignity and not any genuine hurt. Never mind that you laughed as much as I did."

With a chuckle, Severus admitted it. "I remember now. You were closer, though. Easier to hold only you responsible for his ignominy." He took another sip of his coffee. "So, is that how you got hurt? The fall and the glass tank?"

"Not exactly," Harry said. "I escaped the fall unbruised and the glass never hit me." Severus looked worried again, so Harry rushed to go on. "But then disentangling myself from the tree, I tripped. Fell again. Twice. I sort of bounced around falling on the tree, the coffee table, the chair and the tree again. This cut is from one of the ornaments. And I..." He stopped in concern at Severus' tense look and rigid shoulders. "Sev?"

Not able to resist any more, Severus howled in laughter. "I re-remember," he managed. "Poor Salazar."

"Poor Salazar! How about ' _Poor Harry_ '? This is your husband being attacked by furniture and decorations, and you feel sorry for the cat? Where's the love?"

Severus reached for Harry and soon had him on his lap. "Sorry, love. I also apologize for jumping to conclusions this morning."

"You're forgiven. And I'd love to cuddle, but I really need the loo. I should brush my teeth, too." He kissed Severus' forehead and dashed away.

Severus followed him at a slower pace. With the morning drama, he had forgotten about his own morning ablutions. The potion had taken care of his dehydration, but a shower would be welcome, not to mention Harry would also appreciate minty breath.

==HS==HS==HS==HS==HS==

Now refreshed, Harry and Severus met by unspoken agreement in their living room and cuddled on the sofa. Severus had brought his favored healing salve and gently applied it to Harry's bruises and scrape. Harry purred at the attention but was still troubled by the memory of a single tear.

"Did you really think you had beaten me up?" he asked softly.

Severus just nodded. "You are aware of my father's abusive nature. It was always worse when he drank, and he was drunk most of the time. I have always feared to come to be like him and long ago vowed never to overindulge. And I never had until yesterday. Well, I drank too much when Lily died, but then I was alone and just fell asleep, endured my hangover as deserved comeuppance."

After a few minutes of silence Severus asked, in a tone that could be described as shy: "Harry, how do I behave when drunk?"

"This may come as a surprise, Sev, but you're very entertaining when sozzled. And happy. You sing. You dance. You even giggle."

"I do not!" Severus protested. "I have never giggled in my life!"

"Yes, you have," Harry insisted. "And the last time was just last night!"

"Get your wand," came the strict command. "I require you to place that memory in a vial immediately."

"There's no rush. We'll need a Pensieve anyway."

"Not at all. I don't plan to view the memory."

"Then why collect it?" Harry asked.

"I plan to destroy it. With Fiendfyre if necessary!"

"No way." Harry waved his hands in absolute refusal. "That's one of my favorite memories now. You have a lovely singing voice."

Severus was slightly mollified, but then Harry continued...

"And I'm still trying to figure out if that singular dance of yours was the Chicken, the Macarena or disco. Perhaps a combination of all three? There was certainly some hip-swinging and pointing up. You seemed to be having a blast! What?"

Severus' look of horror had returned. "Please," he pleaded. "What would you require in exchange for that memory? Please!"

Harry relented. "I don't mean to torture or blackmail you, love. Well, maybe a little. But Sev, I just banished one of your worst fears. You're * **not** * a violent man like your father. Even drunk, you're sweet and funny. You're a happy drunk. Rejoice!"

"I shall never, ever drink again. This I swear. Thank you for tolerating my madness."

"Only you would call it madness, love. I had the greatest time."

"How is it you didn't end up hungover today as well?" Severus asked.

"I stuck to Butterbeer. Well, after a glass of champagne. I had some plans for us after we got home and booze would've been counterproductive."

Severus just stared at him.

"What?" Harry asked.

Severus held his brow and sighed. "The world must be ending. Surely these are signs of the Apocalypse."

Harry was indignant. "That I didn't get drunk? I hardly ever drink and you know it!"

"You acting more sensibly than I surely must be a sign of the end of times."

"And you singing and dancing is not? And let's not forget the giggling!"

"Indeed! You are confirming my premise."

"Fine," Harry capitulated. "Whatever you say. The end is coming. How do you want to go?"

Severus didn't answer, just took Harry by the hand and Apparated them to bed.

Fortunately, he was wrong and it wasn't the end of times.

Just the end of this story.


End file.
